What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

My parents force me (15yo atheist) to go to church, and there’s this thing called Small Sundays where we discuss the Bible in groups, there are questions asked about the Bible. What am I supposed to do when they ask?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Which feels physically better for guys: vaginal sex or anal sex?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What is the opposite personality type of someone with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder)?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How strict are your parents?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

TEXT:

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is the most gay experience with your dad?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What do dreams about dead people mean?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How do you write a letter to your uncle who sent you money for your birthday outfit?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why are Trump supporters so incredibly stupid?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Is it okay or problematic to be both Black and gay in society in the 21st century?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What do you do you do if your motorcycle chain snaps while riding on the highway?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

When did you realize that your childhood was not normal?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!